It's something like 4:30 am and I just had another jarring dream that shook me awake. There are logical reasons for dreams such as these - I've always had an active imagination, maybe it was the dinner I ate last night, maybe it is because of a post I wrote a few days ago about moving on and not comparing every person I meet to the person I lost.
In any case, I need to justify and understand why I still have these insane dreams where he pops up all over the place and causes the dream Sharon to completely lose it. I've done some pretty hilarious and wrenching things in these dreams. Maybe they are things that I wished or wish that I could do in real life.
I need to explain to myself why I think I can start over fresh and that I wouldn't let something in the past hold me back anymore. If this is true, if this is something I believe even at 4:30 am, then why do I still have these crazy dreams?
I think dreams are just a product of your subconscious exercising and doing some random stretches. I don't think they mean anything.
To be honest, sometimes I feel uncomfortable with putting myself out here. Once in awhile, I wonder if I've said too much or compromised my safety in some way or I've exposed myself to be a giant hypocrite and now it's public.