Friday, May 29, 2009

bah humbug!

My life is in shambles right now because I found out some awful news!

My current favorite show, Daisy of Love, will not be airing this Sunday due to the MTV Movie Awards! ( Nooooooooooo... (cue dramatic music and dizzying montage of me falling into oblivion).

Ok, I'm partially joking/exaggerating! I suppose I should be embarrassed that I like to watch this show, but I figure that everyone harbors secret vices and hobbies. Some people play World of Warcraft, some people go shopping... I get a kick out of watching Daisy De La Hoya flirt with 20 wannabe rockers.

Really, life is all about the simple things/pleasures. Right now I'm battling the flu and I sound like a pirate, but things are going well and I'm happy. I think I've reached that point in my life where small stressors don't faze me like they used to because they seem so unimportant to me now.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I graduated last Saturday. I've been taking a week off to celebrate, run errands, spend time with friends, and sleep.

Since I haven't been taking care of my looks lately, I decided to get a much-needed haircut this morning. As usual, I went to a certain cosmetology school that shall not be named. My friend Charlie keeps warning me not to go there, but I don't know much about salons or hairstylists. I am a creature of habit.

The hairstylist began pruning my head. When she finished, the floor was covered with what looked like several species of hairy animals. I left feeling pretty hot. My head felt about twenty pounds lighter. As I skipped downtown, I swished my hair. As I passed shiny store windows, I gazed lovingly at my reflection. It wasn't until I got home and inspected my head that I realized that I look like I'm wearing a large helmet. A helmet that is longer in front and shorter in the back, like a backwards mullet.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Just say "NO!"

Although I have a caffeine addiction that runs from one cup of coffee a day to four during finals, I abstain from energy drinks. I don't want to put more chemicals in my body than I have to.

The energy drink industry commands an enormous amount of revenue. Nowadays, it seems like every celebrity wants a piece of the pie. Even Steven Seagal, the veteran actor. According to his website, he can now add "energy drink formulator" to his long list of formidable talents.

A few months ago, my friend Kelly gave me a few cans of his "Asian Experience" energy drink as a joke, because really, what DOES the "Asian experience" taste like? I'm Chinese and I had no idea.

Apparently, it tastes like apple juice.

Anyway, I stuffed the cans into a corner of my fridge and forgot about them until this morning.

This morning was my first final and I overslept. I woke up 10 minutes before the final was to start and had no time to brew coffee or swing by a coffee shop. So I turned to Steven Seagal and prayed that the Asian Experience would give me an A on my final. I chugged.

My head pounded the whole time I took the test. Even now, hours later, I'm jittery and not feeling too hot. Unbeknownst to me, Steven snuck 60 GRAMS OF SUGAR into that can. Gah!

Lesson learned: stay away from energy drinks. The end.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Expect Nothing.

Expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.
become a stranger
To need of pity
Or, if compassion be freely
Given out
Take only enough
Stop short of urge to plead
Then purge away the need.

Wish for nothing larger
Than your own small heart
Or greater than a star;
Tame wild disappointment
With caress unmoved and cold
Make of it a parka
For your soul.

Discover the reason why
So tiny human midget
Exists at all
So scared unwise
But expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.

-Alice Walker