I had been waiting with bated breath. Today, I got The Job Offer.
I felt a little dizzy and my heart pounded, but I acted like everything was cool. When no one was looking, there may have been a few fist pumps and some poor attempts at dancing. In any case, everything is contingent on passing the bar, so I can't celebrate just yet.
After my interview, I went apartment hunting, just in case. I wanted something reasonable - not too dingy, not too extravagant. I wanted to live within my means. I found a few potential places, ruled out a few others, and made an excel spreadsheet of my top living choices.
Then reality settled in. IF I passed the bar, IF I got the job and IF I managed to hang on and not quit, I could not live in any of my top living choices. I crunched the numbers and realized that for now, a dingy studio would have to do. Which doesn't bother me in the least. I am still very excited.
You see, I've never been an extravagant kind of person. I have been known to hoard items and pinch pennies. I've never said no to free food. But the cold reality is that it's time for me to grow up and to stop dreaming. I have to take care of me. I have to finally start chipping away at my massive student loans. I have to make sure I have enough left for a comfortable retirement.
The most important thing I realized is that I can't think that some guy is going to drop into my life and sweep me off my feet. I have to be prepared that it might never happen. I have to do things like start saving for Tibet and Hong Kong. Even if it is a solo journey, it will still be pretty amazing.