This morning, I woke up and wandered sleepily into the living room. I noticed a towel tacked onto the wall. Curious, I removed it…
and found myself face to face with a GIANT GAPING HOLE.
Apparently, my roommate’s brilliant boyfriend and friend accidentally “fell” into the wall while they horsing around, drunk, last night.
As you can imagine, I was quite pissed. I yelled for awhile at my roommate, she expressed remorse, and then I stormed away to the library. I was fuming, I am still fuming. I probably shouldn’t even be blogging right now because it’s time for me to buckle down and study, but I need to get this off my chest.
I’m not fuming just because there is a hole in the wall. Holes can be fixed and what is done is done. I’m not just mad at myself for yelling at her and probably doing the irreparable damage to our friendship.
I am mad because she is beautiful and smart and sweet, and she is dating a douche. Her love life has all the makings of the next hit country music song.
I know that I’ve already overstepped my bounds by writing about her like this, so I’ll segue into the real meat of this entry. How many of us have friends like this? Friends who find themselves trapped in toxic relationships. Friends who are hoping and waiting around for their significant others to “change” while their friends and family watch them, nervously.
I write this as someone who used to be the one that someone else hoped would someday “change.” I truly believe that people can change, but there’s a caveat. People will only change when they decide to change. You can’t wish understanding and wisdom onto someone. You can’t force your values on someone else. You can’t force someone to care. Most of all, you can’t wait around for the Maturity Magic Wand to hit them. Sometimes it’s better to cut your losses, heal, and hope that the person will get there, someday.